I teach prenatal classes at a local hospital, and one of my favorite class activities is to have expectant parents brainstorm about how to deal with a crying baby. I put them in groups, armed with poster-size sheets of paper and Sharpies. After they make their lists, one person from each group presents the ideas. What follows is a compilation of some of the best ideas generated by class participants:
Reasons Babies Cry
3. Diaper issues
4. Embarrassing outfit (see photo)
5. "That's not a breast!"
6. Incompetent swaddle
8. Existential dread
9. Thermometer left in rectum
10. Vomited in public, and everyone saw
11. Genitals exposed in public, and everyone saw
12. Smooth jazz playing in all rooms of pediatric clinic
13. Conflicting pressure to gain a lot of weight AND sleep more
14. Have to stay wherever adults put them
What is missing from this list?